AVOIDING THE SQUIRRELS

“Politics, like the waves of the ocean, attracts the eyes of the casual observer. But the real motion happens under the surface, where art, philosophy, and science are the great streams of the ocean.”  Eolake Stobblehouse

Brothers and Sisters, since I have taken over this blog I’ve been asked by literally no one to explain my political views.  So, as a result of this overwhelming demand I’ve decided to publish my political treatise.  I’m sure the accolades, and perhaps a Nobel Peace Prize, will follow.

I am not a Republican or a Democrat.  I believe in the Bill of Rights and Libertarian ideals, but think many of them are unworkable in the modern world. The roots of my political philosophy go much deeper.  They start with an incredibly important film called “Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus” with Lorenzo Lamas and Debbie Gibson.  Perhaps I should explain further…

In this profound, well thought out and brilliantly written allegory Debbie Gibson, a rebellious marine biologist, is witness to the US Navy accidentally unthawing two creatures in the arctic; a gigantic missile proof, airplane munching shark and an indestructible, battleship sinking octopus.  Great havoc ensues and Ms Gibson must team up with Commando Lamas to save the world.

In the film the Shark is clearly meant to represent the giant corporations whose appetites are unchecked by any form of moral awareness.  The Octopus was standing in for our government, equally dangerous and trying to get it’s tentacles into every part of our lives.  Our two party system is defined by which creature you fear more.  Democrats fear the Shark and seek to strengthen the Octopus, giving it ever more tentacles.  Republicans fear the Octopus and want to make it ever smaller, even if it means they themselves will be shark chum in the water.  Theocrats, represented by the military in the film, just refuse to accept that the creatures exist.  All sides claim to have God on their side even though any beneficent deity wouldn’t sick either of these creatures on his poor minions.

Fortunately, we can look toward Dr. Debbie for the answer.  The only rational option is to get them to fight each other.  And this is my political philosophy.  Both corporations and governments are evil and dangerous.  Both of them will eat you up without any sense of conscious.  So you need to keep them relatively equal and fighting each other.  Any legislation that curbs corporate power is good.  Any time corporations need to fight government regulation, I’m happy.  And Theocrats are just silly ostriches with their heads in the sand.  Dangerous and stupid, they need to be kept out of power at all costs.

While it’s unlikely that they’ll kill each other as the movie imagines, they might at least keep each other busy enough to allow real people to go about their lives with a minimum of thrashing about.  In short, choose chaos and conflict.  Scandal and criminality.  Force corporations to spend billions on elections.  Vote for anyone who seems to be antibusiness.  Constantly regulate, deregulate, and re-regulate.  And don’t take any of it too seriously.  I’m waiting for my call from Oslo.  Amen.

Yet if he should give up what he has begun, and agree to make us or our kingdom subject to the King of England or the English, we should exert ourselves at once to drive him out as our enemy and a subverter of his own rights and ours, and make some other man who was well able to defend us our King; for, as long as but a hundred of us remain alive, never will we on any conditions be brought under English rule. It is in truth not for glory, nor riches, nor honours that we are fighting, but for freedom — for that alone, which no honest man gives up but with life itself.  THE DECLARATION OF ARBROATH

“I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.” - Robert A. Heinlein

Brothers and Sisters, we are gathered here today at my inaugural blog post to talk about Freedom.  Talk of Freedom is ubiquitous these days, but most of the people doing the talking don’t have the slightest fucking idea what it means.  Soldiers won’t give you Freedom.  Security, perhaps, but not Freedom.  The Bill of Rights and the ACLU won’t give you Freedom, they give you civil rights, or not.  Governments and religions cannot grant it and cannot guarantee it.  They can only fuck it up.

Freedom is the absolute authority over yourself and your actions.  It means that right now you and you alone possess the control over what you do, how you feel, and what you think.  Freedom is radical and subversive and carries with it a heavy sense of responsibility.  If you cannot say “This is my fault” you will not be free.  If you cannot say “Fuck you, I’ll do it myself” and mean it you will not be free.  If you cannot say “I don’t need this” you will not be free.

Freedom, contrary to popular belief, is not unlimited.  The universe has rules.  I’m not free to fly even I think I am and if I jump off the roof I’ll discover that the hard way.  A great Zen teacher once gave a lecture on Freedom, explaining to the young monks that they were truly Free.  The next day he came upon two of them pissing in the garden.  As he beat the living crap out of them with his cane they complained that he had said that they were free to do as they pleased.  He explained that this was true, but they still couldn’t piss in the garden.  If you don’t understand this paradox you are too stupid to be Free.

A Free man is a threat and is likely to be despised.  (I’m using man as shorthand.  Freedom knows know gender.)  The government discourages Freedom at every turn.  Therefor the Free man must ignore the government as much as he can.  He must understand that some of his choices will be ‘illegal’ and some of his actions will be considered ‘criminal’.  Because he is free he accepts these risks and is willing to pay the penalties incurred.  They are taxes the government levies on Freedom.

Religion discourages Freedom even though I think God rather likes it.  It seems like God wouldn’t grant us this incredible gift without expecting it to be used.  I am a Reverend, and as such I preach the Word.  And the Word is Freedom.  Are you brave enough to be free?  Keep reading to find out.  Or follow me on Twitter (@Rev_Che_Gonzo) or Facebook (Che Gonzo).  Vaya con Dios and Viva la Revolucion.

Long live the king.  I’m leaving this blog.  It’s been a lot of fun but it’s just too much for me to keep up with.  But fear not.  The blog will continue on without me.  One of my two closest friends, the Right Reverend Che Gonzo, will be taking over immediately.   I wish him well.  He should be ready to start posting on Tuesday.  Be sure to check out the other pages, as they’ve changed to reflect this new reality.  Good Luck to him and to his readers.

I’m headed off to the Gathering of the Clans in Pleasanton, to Sac to see my friends Sarge and Mary, and back to LCC on Wednesday.  No updates for next few days.