AVOIDING THE SQUIRRELS

I know a lot of you won’t get the reference, but what the hell, I like it.  Where is Frank Zappa now that we need him?  Can you imagine his reaction to American Idol!  Anyway, I miss him and no one seems to have stepped up to take his place.  I guess no one could.  But that’s not what I wanted to talk about today.  I like philosophy.  I spend a lot of time thinking about stuff and trying to put it all together.  I’ve developed a fairly complex cosmology that makes sense to me and I’m going to start posting some of it here.

This is harder than it might seem.  It feels like exposing myself in some weird way.  Our culture frowns upon discussing our religious beliefs and only the crazy street person seems to do it.  Oh well, maybe I qualify.  It also makes me feel a little vulnerable since most people reading this will think it’s silly and no one wants to be trivialized.  And it takes tremendous hubris (meaning balls) to publish your own version of the bible.  Well what the fuck.  Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead.

One of the problems with writing about religion and philosophy is that all the good words are taken already.  In order to talk about this stuff you have to either make up your own words or use theirs in your own way.  I’ve decided to do the latter because it just seems easier.  So I use stuff you may have heard of it but I use it in new way.  For example I use the word Tao for the unifying spiritual force in the universe.  I chose to use it instead of God because it is less anthropomorpizable (wow, that’s a cool word).  Besides, I like the word Tao and it was as close as I could get to what I’m imagining.  But I’m not a Taoist.  That’s a specific series of religions in China.  The opposite of the Tao is The Man.  Okay, I’m an old hippy.  What can 

I say.  The Man is those things that are trying to keep you from being free and connecting to the Tao.  I hope you get the idea.

Do I know what I’m doing here?  Nope.  I’m just muddling through, making guesses, going with what feels right and discarding the rest.  As the builder jesse James says, if someone says they know what they’re doing they don’t know shit.  A true master knows they’re always guessing and in over their heads.  This makes sense because surety and concrete rightness is a sure sign of The Man and not the Tao.  The Tao is always undefined.  It’s undefined by definition.  So, being unsure is a better reflection of the Tao.

It is probably going to take me a few months to get the bulk of this philosophy stuff posted, especially because I know I’ll get distracted.  If it interests you please be patient and check the ‘philosophy’ category for any you might have missed.  If you don’t care than just go back to down loading porn!

I love dogs.  I know some weird people like cats, but I’m a dog person.  I’ve never lived without one and don’t expect I ever will.  As I write this my loyal, ugly, dumb, and loving bulldog is sleeping on my leg and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Having a dog has given depth, joy and quality to my life.

There’s a wonderful blessing that goes “May you strive to be the man that your dog thinks you are”.  Dogs, and our relationships with them, embody some of our finest human traits.  My bulldog is terrified of the vacuum cleaner.  Just opening the closet door where the vacuum used to live is enough to send her into hysterics.  When the evil, dog-eating machine appears she retreats to the back of the bed and shivers, sure that the end is near.  However, if I’m present she’ll firmly plant herself between me and the vacuum, shaking but growling with teeth bared.  Would you be willing to face your greatest fear in order to protect someone else?  Would I?  She is.  She’s always loyal, protective, and loving and she’s not smart enough to figure out what to do with a cookie.  I’ll take that over most people I know.

Some people suggest that when we relate to dogs we’re just anthropomorphizing and projecting traits on to them.  I have 3 responses to this.  First, so what.  Even of that’s true then what a gift to have a creature that causes me to project some of my finer qualities.  Second, get a life.  Who cares why we relate to dogs as we do.  Just shut up and enjoy it.  Third, you’re wrong.  Just ask anyone with a deep relationship with a dog.

This brings me to Mike Vick and the people who fight dogs.  I really hope there’s some special level of hell for these moral midgets.  If you think that kind if behavior is acceptable you are truly a defective human being.  Some part of your basic equipment is missing.  Maybe it’s a lack of emotional empathy or moral development, or cultural insensitivity.  I don’t care.  You are lesser.  There are certain prerequisites to being considered a human being and you haven’t got them.

Dogs require honesty, discipline in training, love, and quiet time.  Who doesn’t need more of all of these things in their life?  And in return you’ll receive an honest, nonjudgmental love and loyalty.  So, if you want to do something to bring joy into life then do some research, find a breed that matches your personality, and GET A DOG!

Thought of the day: “A man’s heart is like a sponge, just soaked with emotion and sentiment of which he can squeeze a little bit out for every pretty woman.” - Helen Rowland

I like pretty girls.  I’m a guy.  It’s my job and I refuse to apologize for it.  Just to be clear I believe in equality.  I know (not think) women should have political, economic and civil rights equal to any man.  They are just as smart, just as capable, and just as complicated.  I would even go so far as to say that any culture that represses women is clearly inferior and fucked up.  And I still like pretty girls.  I like the way they look.  I like they way they smell.  I like everything about them.  I can’t think of any situation that would not be improved by adding adding something cute in a bikini.  Of course I’m treating them as sex objects.  I said I’m a guy.  I don’t see the conflict in respecting the abilities of women and wanting to snuggle up next to a cute girl.  And did I mention that I have a very tolerant wife?

The following is a pledge from the Dirty Old Man Association.  I got a kick out of it.  And I agree,

I hereby promise: 1- Never to my willful knowledge let a beautiful girl pass without enjoying the sight.  2- Never to speak slightingly of or underestimate the importance of beauty and grace, and always support it in conversation when needed.  3-  To keep beauty near my heart and always be aware that it is what is keeping us happy and content, and much of what makes life worth living. 4- Never to let merely intellectual pursuits, important as they may be, distract me for any undue length of time.  5- To keep in mind that beauty is a spiritual thing, no more and no less.  6. To always keep a pure mind when seeing beauty, or, failing that, at least take pleasure thinking what I am thinking.  7- To remember that seeing is the only form of having that is actual. Thus, what you can see you can have. The reason for possessing anything is to prevent others from having it too, a pointless exercise.  8- To not be bothered when they go away. There will always be more.  9- To enjoy life and what it has given me, and in return to support life and be constructive. - Eolake Stobblehouse

“Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old” - Franz Kafka

While I sit at the computer and write I’m usually listening to country music.  I have really eclectic musical taste, and much of it is bad.  I like country, disco, old R&B, and rock.  I’m old enough so that I hate a lot of today’s music.  Oh well, it happens.   I’m frequently amazed at the negative response I get when people find out that I like county music.  I’ve had people say “but you’re so well read and educated”.  We’ve all heard someone say “I like any music except county”.  Yet there are more county station formats on radio than any other music.  Country music is an incredibly wide category.  No one could possibly love or hate all of it.  What’s going on here?

How about good old fashioned elitist classism?  People who listen to country music are assumed to be people who work with their hands.  Blue collar music for blue collar workers.  If you like Kenny Chesney (I love Kenny Chesney) you might be a mechanic.  Oh, the horrors.  Fuck you.

One of the things that has to change in this country is the divide between the white and blue collar classes.  People who work at a keyboard are no better than people who work with a wrench and vice versa.  As we’ve moved away from a manufacturing economy and towards an information based one we’ve lost our appreciation for the ability to make something.  Both skills should be appreciated and celebrated.  I used to watch Monster Garage on the Discovery Channel.  Jesse James, a really talented fabricator, would invite a team of builders to design a build some weird machine.  A sports car golf cart.  A cop car that made donuts.  You get the idea.  It was really a fun show.  On the final episode one of the regulars was being interviewed about the impact of the show.  He was one of the world’s best welders.  He said that for the first time his kids thought what he did was cool.  Before the show his kids looked down on him because he worked with his hands.  In tears, he thanked Jesse for making welders appreciated again.

I have a real reverence for people who can build stuff.  And I agree with Trace Atkins.  He has a song called “Songs about Me”.  In it he sings that country music is songs about love and loss and family and life.  If you don’t like that kind of music you need give that some thought.